Monday, January 19, 2015


     It's hard turning the couch into a bed.  We have a two story house, and it would be hard going up and down steps getting things, making sure things ok, and taking things to Kristina day and night.  Especially difficult making sure her foot is resting up on pillows above her head.  That way her foot doesn't swell while she has her foot in the cast.
     It was difficult after getting Kristina situated on the couch. Then again, we had to find places to put all of the balloons, flowers, fruit baskets, and cards.  Oh, I forgot the giant teddy bear!  
     Never knowing a tough daddy's girl could ever want to just be held, I had to find enough room for me to fit on the couch.  I loved seeing the need for a mother's touch.  I hated what happened to bring that need out of her.  I still get a sick, awful feeling when we drive by the road where the wreck was.
     The phone would ring when people who couldn't visit would pray with us on the phone.  We didn't have to cook dinner for two weeks.  Our church and friends took care of us.  I had a lot of thank you letters to write.  
     The kids from her class at school also wrote get well cards.  The teacher brought them by the house one day.  While Kristina was looking at the cards, the teacher and I had to set up a schedule for a tutor to come to our house.  
     Why does there always have to be someone to make things look worse when things are starting to look better?  One of the cards was from a boy in her class. That card was Mean, Horrible, and Disgusting.  On the outside of the card was nice "get well".  On the inside, was hid (something like), too bad you didn't get hurt worse.  It wasn't signed.  We gave it to the principle.  The only thing I could think of, why someone would write something like that, they must be miserable and have to make others feel worse than they do.  
     I remember certain things that happened.  I wonder if Kristina remembers things that I forgot.

Sunday, January 4, 2015


     We were only in the hospital one week.  One week felt like infinity.  Everyone had to make me leave the hospital.  They said  to go get some sleep in your own bed.  I finally gave in.  One night in my own bed, but who would sleep?  Thoughts running through my head and they wouldn't stop.
     Making it back to the hospital, I see a smile on my daughter's face!  A SMILE!  The first time that week I finally felt like God was listening to my prayers.  Everyone from the church would come by and pray.  This time the prayers pushed through the ceiling.
     Learning how to get out of the bed and getting into a wheelchair, Kristina had to get out of the room.  The room started getting smaller and smaller.  The pediatric floor at the hospital had a pool table.  Had a pool table!  I lost to a girl in a wheelchair, with a leg sticking straight out, to a game of pool.  She still laughs about that.
     Finally getting the cast put on her foot and having blood flow going to her toes, we got to go home.  Being discharged takes forever!  It did give us time to load balloons, flowers, cards, stuffed animals, and fruit baskets into the car.  I can't forget the crutches to take home for the future.
     We didn't get home until later in the afternoon.  We had a SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME!!  My husband volunteered at the fire department.  The people that work there get close and don't just rescue strangers. They come to help each other like family members.
     Two fire trucks were out of commission with firemen that were volunteers or off that day.  They had been building a ramp all day.  A ramp to the front door to bypass the steps to the front porch.  Working hard that day, it started to get dark.  All of a there was LIGHT.  Light from fire truck.

I think that there are friends that shine a true light inside.  They do what they can when others are in need.  Do you see those lights?

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


     There is only a few things I remember clearly the day of the wreck.  I was given a bottled water, Kristina and Charity were carried safely from the car.  After that I saw my husband pull up, my father-in-law (in his slippers) get out of his car, and our friend was working that day at the fire department.  He ran the call.
     If I remember correctly, Kristina rode in the ambulance, Charity rode with Michael, and I rode with grandpa to the hospital.  Both of the girls went the children's hospital.  I couldn't stop crying .  I had to go to the adult area of the hospital emergency room.
     First thing I had to get x-rays of my neck and ribs.  Since I had worked in the hospital before
and was used to seeing policemen outside of patient's rooms, I automatically thought that the patient was under arrest.  Well, The next big surprise was when I returned to the ER.  A Police Officer was outside my door to my exam room!!
     I had calmed down, because I had to, in the x-ray department.  It's hard to cry while holding your breath for x-rays.  I lost it again when I saw the officer.  I had tears rolling down my cheeks again.  I couldn't stop telling the police man "I didn't know, I didn't know!"
     Michael kept trying to calm me down.  It took a long time before I could tell what I remembered.  Thanks goodness this happened while Michael was with me.  He had to be in three places at once.  The girls being in a different section in the hospital, he was getting exhausted.  Thank goodness grandpa was there to help before the other grandparents got to the hospital.
     I finally got discharged and was able to be with the girls.  Charity was fine.  We thought Kristina was going to be discharged with just a sprain, but after one more test......A FRACTURED ANKLE!!!!  INTO PIECES!!!!  SHE WAS BEING ADMITTED!!!!  Here come the tears again.

Saturday, November 1, 2014


             Wow the timing could never be perfect!!  This is the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
                   of the change in our lives, and my writing coordinates with the anniversary. 

     After being fired I started going to classes at our church during the day.  This way I would get out of the house.  Of course I worked on my resume since it had been so long since I had applied for jobs. Everyday coming home, first thing I would do was check the answering machine.  Were there any messages for an interview?  There weren't many, and if there was they always included taking overnight call.  Not able to take call, I would offer to work more Saturdays instead.  They turned me down because Saturday is when you make overtime money.  The employees in the department didn't want to give up the overtime pay.  So, the girls rode the bus home from school.
\     While I was working I was able to pay extra for one of my brand name epilepsy medicines.  The insurance company wouldn't let me pay the same copay as the generic brand.  So when I lost my job I had to switch to generic medicine.  I stopped driving for a couple of weeks to make sure I wasn't going to have a seizure since I had to switch to generic.  Lucky me, I didn't on that brand generic.
My pharmacologist told me that when I start a certain brand generic, do NOT switch to another. Different companies have different ways of formulating their brand of generic medicines.  Generic medicines can have 80%  of the medicine in one pill and 110% in another.  When I started getting my generic medicine from my pharmacy, I told them not to switch the brand I was taking.  The brand they gave me was the best company that makes generic.  What did they do?  They switched to another.  The pharmacist told me it was because of the cost!!  I took that generic brand pill ONE DAY!  Not thinking about problems
 with breakthrough seizures since I switched to another generic, I drove.  My two daughters and I were in the car!

     One of the families in the church had a family member sick.  We were on the way to their house taking food so they would not have to take time to cook.  The WORST was about to happen!  A seizure, YES I SAID SEIZURE, like I had never had before came on while I WAS DRIVING!!

     I have to tell this in my daughter's words now.  (The "I" is her now)
I noticed my mom to start swerving across the yellow line.  I tried to grab the steering wheel, but she fought me!  I kept trying to pull the parking brake, but she fought me while I tried doing that too.  I was told that, "whenever we were in a car together be ready to grab the wheel or pull the brake."  I tried doing that, but it didn't work.  We hit mailbox after mailbox.  I finally quit to hold on.  We went across the yellow line, through a person's front yard, across another road, and into an embankment!! That was where a tree fell on the car and in between me and my mom.

     I don't remember any of this.  I usually have an aura before my seizure, and they only last thirty seconds.  I didn't have an aura this time.  My seizure definitely lasted longer than thirty seconds.  The next thing I remember is waking up leaning over the wheel and seeing someone carrying Kristina out of the car in their arms.  Someone else is getting Charity out of the car seat.

     Next thing, I hear SIRENS!.....

Last week was the five year anniversary of the car wreck that changed our lives.



Sunday, October 5, 2014


     Well.....This is the first time I got FIRED!  Now what do I do?  After they told a lie on paper, they still refused to give me unemployment.  I found a lawyer to represent me.  We went to the judge's quarter's to talk there.  They didn't show up!  They knew they did something wrong.  Too bad North Carolina is a right to fire state!  
     Now a whole new occupation for me, stay at home mom.  I had my youngest daughter in the company's daycare.  When you don't work there, you don't get to keep a place for her in the day care. Now it's me waking everyone up in the morning.  I'm getting my husband off to work and my oldest daughter on the school bus.  Then, my youngest little girl was almost two.
     Finding games to keep her busy was hard sometimes.  This was all new to me.   There was a family in the neighborhood that had a son the same age as my daughter.  This was great.  His older brother was home schooled.  While he was studying, they would play outside or at our house.
     I got involved in in the church while I was looking for a job.

Monday, July 21, 2014


I had to tell everybody in the office about my medicine making me get upset.  Now instead of Mr. Hyde, I would turn into a cry baby.  A CRY BABY.   I never cried about anything.  I didn't even cry in high school when guys would break up with me.
     After I told the doctor about the number of patients we did, he had the nurse or the nurse aid help him with the ultrasound needle guided procedures.  That's why I took the job.  That was my favorite type of procedure.  What happened?  Didn't he want the person he hired to do those?  I counted down the minutes until it was time to leave for the other OB/GYN office.  I asked the lead physician in the office that if there was an opening full time to keep me in mind for it.
     After everyone acting differently towards me for the next few days in the morning office, I went to the office manager.  I told her again about having to get a handle on my medicine's side effects.  Apologizing, on and on, I thought she understood.  The next day it was quiet.  The doctor wasn't there.  I made up my mind that I better talk to the head supervisor. (even though he wrote me up for my first time ever)  I explained things to him.  He said not to worry.
     I finally went home that night feeling like weights had been lifted off my back.  Little did I know that the next day will be like hell!!  As soon as the doctor got there, the somewhat office manager and head supervisor called me into his office.  The doctor FIRED me! What? After I asked the office manager to come to me first, she went straight to the doctor!  OFFICE MANAGER was JUST A TITLE for her.

     I got the paperwork explaining the reason for being fired.  It was a COPY of the same paperwork I signed when I got wrote up!!  LIAR, the head supervisor is a LIAR!  He made a copy of the previous paperwork I signed and changed the date!   OFFICE SUPERVISOR is JUST A TITLE for him

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I'm on vacation with my family now.  I am going to take a break from my usual story.

     We are at North Myrtle Beach, close to Barefoot Landing.  If anyone knows South Carolina, it can busy during the day and quiet at night.  We like it.  Can you believe even on vacation I can have one of my "spells".  Yea, right a seizure.  Thank goodness it happened right before I turned the light off to go to sleep.
     The House Of Blues is here at Barefoot Landing.  It's a place for dinner and they have well known bands give concerts during the summer.  Every year we come the week before or after someone we like gives a concert.  Well, this year Trapt is going to perform!!  Lucky aren't we?  I want to go.  The ticket prices are not that bad either.
     After I find out about the prices and if seats are still available, my husband bursts my bubble! A LIGHT SHOW!!! A STUPID HEADACHE CAUSING, SEIZURE PROVOKING LIGHT SHOW!!!!  Why??  All I want to hear is the MUSIC!  I'm not impressed with a light show.
     Well.....I can look at it this way, either we saved money or we'll spend it somewhere else.  We are on vacation.